About the Post

Author Information

Brandon Andress is the author of AND THEN THE END WILL COME! (April 2013) and Unearthed: How Discovering the Kingdom of God Will Transform the Church and Change the World (2010). He lives in Columbus, Indiana and writes for his popular blogs Brandon Andress and A Joyful Procession. Brandon earned his MBA from Indiana Wesleyan University and his BA in Psychology from Hanover College. He loves the outdoors, hiking, camping, and traveling. For more information visit: www.andthentheendwillcome.com

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A Father’s Letter to His Daughters…

I have been thinking a lot lately.

I have been thinking about all of our mornings at Starbucks and the conversations we have had about God and life.

I have been thinking about all the nights we laid in your bed and asked questions and talked about all of your dreams.

I have been thinking about all the hikes we have taken and how we talked about beauty and peace and contentment and joy.

Those are the most amazing moments I have ever had in my life.

I will never forget them as long as I live.

But while we have shared in so many special moments and had so many amazing conversations, in too many ways, I have been the stereotypical man, unable to fully open up and express my heart and my feelings to you.

So first let me say that, even though I tell you every night that I love you… I really do love you with all of my heart. And there will never be another man in your life who will love you as much as I do. But I pray that there will, one day, be a man who comes close to seeing you as I see you… and loving you as I love you.

I don’t ever want you to forget that your worth and value and beauty come from God and God alone… and that is the most liberating reality you will ever experience. In that truth you will never have to measure up to the unreasonable expectations of our society or of any man about how you should look, what you should believe about yourself, or how you should act.

You are worthy and valuable and beautiful and loved… simply by being you.

And that will never change.

So refuse to ever buy into another narrative about yourself. Because other narratives are cheap fabrications that promise you everything, but will never come close to your true identity, worth, and value as a daughter of God.

The images you are bombarded with in commercials, television shows, and on the front of magazines are trying to convince you of their standard of beauty and how you can attain it.

The truth is that your beauty does not come from the make-up you wear, the style of your hair, the curviness of your body, the perfection of your skin, or the youthfulness of your appearance. Your beauty comes solely from the radiance of God in the way that you humbly and lovingly let God work through your life.

That is unsurpassed beauty. And I hope and pray that you will never forget that.

Your worth, value, and beauty are also not defined by or dependent upon any man.

You are no less of a woman for remaining pure and waiting to have sex with your future husband.

Sure you will hear the loud and mocking voices calling your decision antiquated and naive, but having your heart intact and not shattered into a million pieces is invaluable.

Some things are worth the wait. And this is one of them.

You will be told by many that engaging in sex and sexual activity is completely normal and natural before you are married, but if a young man does not respect you as a young woman and your pursuit of purity then he is not worthy of you.

You are not a means to his end.

Yes that is an incredibly high standard, but you are worth it. And you do not have to compromise or settle for anyone, ever.

You are a beautiful young woman who God will use in amazing ways throughout your life.  I love you with all of my heart.

I will always be incredibly proud to be your father.

Love,

Dad

Also read 3 Reasons Every Mom Needs to Talk to Her Son About Porn.

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49 Comments on “A Father’s Letter to His Daughters…”

  1. brandonandress February 11, 2013 at 8:24 am #

    Reblogged this on brandonandress.

    • Letitia Pienewald March 20, 2013 at 7:03 am #

      Beautifully written.

    • sarahtunauthor April 27, 2013 at 3:11 am #

      Beautiful. There is a moment in the film COURAGEOUS when a daughter looks at a ring her father has given her after a dinner ‘date’ they’ve shared together. It encapsulates through cinema what you’ve written here. So valuable to our daughters. Thank you.

  2. Robert Martin February 11, 2013 at 10:03 am #

    Reblogged this on Abnormal Anabaptist and commented:
    As a father of two daughters, Brandon echoes all my own thoughts… thanks, Brandon.

  3. juanrbalboa February 11, 2013 at 3:55 pm #

    Another great message, but this time for my daughters. Thanks!

  4. Nevie Dewhirst February 11, 2013 at 8:48 pm #

    This is beautiful! My dad said something similar to me when I was coming of age, and I will never forget it. I am sharing this with my own daughter who has begun to wonder about boys, her worth, and her place in the world. Girls need to hear that they are perfectly loved just as they are. :-)

  5. Mel February 12, 2013 at 12:22 am #

    Thank You Brandon, even though some of the things you said are mentioned to women over and over, nothing beats hearing them from a respected man who actually believes what he is saying!

  6. hernameisjordan February 13, 2013 at 12:29 pm #

    Reblogged this on Punk Rock Mommy Seeking Jesus and commented:
    A Father’s Letter to His Daughters by Brandon Andress = Amazing.

  7. Chelsea Jo February 13, 2013 at 12:47 pm #

    That was amazing! We watch alot of veggie tales in our house and there is a veggie tales movie that teaches about inner beauty. Its called Snoodarella, like Cinderella. I just thought I would share because its a cute, fun way to teach toddlers about inner beauty.

  8. Sheryl Wright Stinchcum February 26, 2013 at 10:39 am #

    If only every father would talk to his daughter(s) this way! I think that many young women lose their virginity because they “are looking for love in all the wrong places.” A father, more than anyone, can make his daughter feel like a princess and give her a sense of self worth. Thank you!

  9. Matt Small February 26, 2013 at 3:40 pm #

    That is a beautiful letter, Brandon.

    • brandonandress February 26, 2013 at 10:02 pm #

      thanks brother… i really appreciate it! been thinking about you the last couple of days. hang in there. peace.. brandon

  10. Dave March 1, 2013 at 7:00 pm #

    God bless you for the love and strength you are offering your kids in posts like this one. I imagine much more has been “soaking” into them, day-to-day, throughout the years.

    Thank you for following my blog.

  11. Richard March 11, 2013 at 2:07 pm #

    Thanks for following Walk with Me. This particular blog, “A Father’s Letter…,” reminds me of a practice I share with everyone I can. I started praying for my daughter’s husband and my son’s wife as soon as my wife and I knew she was pregnant with each of them. It helped remind me of the conversation we fathers sometimes fail to have with our children about the precious gift they are and the importance of purity and faithfulness from an early age.

    • brandonandress March 13, 2013 at 7:40 am #

      thanks for sharing that Richard. that is beautiful…

  12. April Yamasaki March 11, 2013 at 5:06 pm #

    Thanks for following my blog, and I’m glad to discover yours–this is a beautiful post!

    • brandonandress March 13, 2013 at 7:40 am #

      thank you april! thanks for stopping by and checking it out. peace… brandon

  13. Argus March 13, 2013 at 2:47 pm #

    Honi soit qui mal y pense … well said~!

    Would only that there were more expressing thoughts like these. Peace …

  14. Mollie Pearce McKibbon March 13, 2013 at 4:03 pm #

    Brandon, you’ve expressed exactly what I want my daughter to know.

  15. wonderingsoul21 March 15, 2013 at 9:18 am #

    This is a beautiful post. Needed to hear this today. Thank you! Thank you for following my blog as well! :)

  16. melanie jean juneau March 17, 2013 at 9:10 pm #

    these two posts should be in all marriage prep classes

    • brandonandress March 18, 2013 at 11:57 am #

      super nice comment. thank you… I really appreciate it! thanks for checking them out. peace… brandon

  17. sudebaker March 18, 2013 at 5:51 pm #

    How I wish my father had said these things to me! But as you put it in the beginning, men find it hard to open up. it’s only now, as I’m grown with children of my own, that my dad is starting to open up. Thanks for writing this. I’m trying to express it to my girl, her worth in Christ alone. And thanks for the follow.

  18. isaiah6510 March 19, 2013 at 11:09 am #

    A friend said once of his distrust issues, that the Father had told him “I know you have learnt to trust me, now you have to learn to trust the people I’ve placed in your life too.”
    I know the Father loves me, I have no doubt of that, but I cannot imagine a man loving me too. I asked for total restoration, everything back and He never fails. When I read this, my friends words came back to me in a personal way…”I know you know I love you, now you have to receive the love of the person I send you too.” It reminded me of God’s great love for me, His precious daughter, His desire for me to be loved here, on earth as in heaven. May His Kingdom come! Amen.
    Blessings

  19. Sarah March 19, 2013 at 11:17 am #

    Beautiful post, I will be sharing it with my daughter! Think you for “following” me, I’m now blessed to follow you as well. I look forward to reading more from you. Have a great day!

  20. ablessedpilgrim March 22, 2013 at 1:35 am #

    Beautiful words. Your girls will appreciate your love and dedication when they are grown. Thank you for following my blog! I am also following yours.

  21. thoughts along the way March 22, 2013 at 3:58 am #

    I have a 7 month old Daughter your dreams are my dreams. I hope, if you don”t mind, I would like to keep a copy of this.

  22. ljoneil March 30, 2013 at 12:39 am #

    Couldn’t be said better. A beautiful expression of the heart. Thank you!

  23. Debbie April 3, 2013 at 10:19 pm #

    This is a beautiful entry. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I’m so glad I got to read this letter. Your daughters are blessed to have you as a Dad!

  24. Debbie April 5, 2013 at 12:26 pm #

    Reblogged this on Small Moments, Big Stories and commented:
    Beautifully written by Brandon Andress. Echoes the prayers of my husband and I for our precious daughters.

  25. coastalmom April 8, 2013 at 12:36 pm #

    This is such a wonderful keepsake. I wish someone would do this sermon on Father’s Day it is epic!

    • marylou4 April 10, 2013 at 7:32 am #

      The message in A Father’s letter to his daughters is insightful and beautiful. Thank you .

  26. Aaron Newsome April 26, 2013 at 6:31 pm #

    Simply beautiful.

  27. Lola May 2, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

    This is absolutely beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. It must be every girls wish that her Daddy loves her so much. What a legacy you will leave for your Princess.

  28. cpdpcc May 10, 2013 at 7:27 am #

    Such beautiful words for your daughter. God Bless you.

  29. oceansoflove May 30, 2013 at 2:04 pm #

    Thanks for writing this! I really needed to hear that right now. Blessings!

  30. louisefallonfrood May 31, 2013 at 3:13 am #

    Thank you. As a young women growing up without a fathers love, this touched my heart this morning!

  31. annepeterson May 31, 2013 at 11:07 am #

    Just beautiful. What a wonderful love of a father for her daughter.

  32. raulconde001 March 8, 2014 at 11:18 pm #

    Thanks for the follow! :)

  33. Terese March 9, 2014 at 11:45 am #

    I absolutely love this! A father’s voice is so important in his daughter(s) life, especially during the preteen and teen years.

    Thank you for stopping by to read and follow my blog I look forward to reading your blog. I am re-blogging this post onto my page. My heart is for women to understand their identity and authority in Christ as ambassadors of God’s kingdom. God bless you and yours!

  34. Terese March 9, 2014 at 11:47 am #

    Reblogged this on Hope For Today and commented:
    Our identity in Christ starts at home by teaching to our children. Enjoy and be blessed by Brandon’s post!

  35. abundantlife March 9, 2014 at 3:39 pm #

    She is blessed to call you her father; thank you for the loving post.

  36. penpowersong March 9, 2014 at 11:43 pm #

    very touching!

  37. babarahs March 10, 2014 at 8:34 pm #

    Well said.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. 3 Things I Want My Son to Know About Porn… | brandon andress - February 11, 2013

    [...] Read the next post in this series here- A Father’s Letter to His Daughters… [...]

  2. The Seven 2.12.13 « Dead Pastors Society - February 12, 2013

    [...] 3) My oldest daughter turns 12 tomorrow, if I were able to put together all the words I wanted to say to her it may sound something like this: A Father’s Letter to His Daughters… [...]

  3. A Father’s Letter to His Daughters… | hisimagenme - April 11, 2013

    [...] A Father’s Letter to His Daughters…. [...]

  4. 3 Reasons Every Mom Needs to Talk to Her Son About Porn… | brandon andress - November 25, 2013

    […] may also want to check out A Father’s Letter to His Daughters that I wrote to my daughters about this […]

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